A clever tale entitled:
The Secret
Sarah hid in the small cupboard beneath the stairs, her ears
and eyes strained on the visitor that had come to speak to her Mamm.
"Mrs. Beiler, I don’t mean to offend but perhaps Sarah's
sister would be more suitable to raise the child."
Hannah Beiler
shook her head solemnly and looked out of the kitchen window.
"No Bishop, that simply would not do, Mary is already
overburdened. I cannot ask that of Mary and I certainly would not ask
that of Sarah. No matter what, the child is a child of God and shall be
cared for." She turned and looked directly at the Bishop. He looked
tired and the birthmark beneath his ear became more prominent the more
irritated he became.
"Well, perhaps someone in another town then." His
words were caring but his eyes were cold. Bishop Miller looked at Hannah
and realized he was fighting a losing battle at the moment. He rose from
his chair and touched Hannah’s hand. "Of course we will do as you wish but
please give this some more thought before you make a final decision. I
will help in anyway that I can but a fatherless child, well Hannah, you know
the church's opinion on that matter."
Bishop Miller gently patted her hand and turned towards the
door. He leaned over and spoke to Hannah gently. " I will speak to you at the
Church service tomorrow and you can let me know what will be done."
Hannah
looked at his face and smiled sadly. "Thank you Bishop, we will
speak to you then," and she closed the door behind him as he stepped out
into the afternoon sun.
Hannah turned and walked slowly into the family room.
She sat down in her rocking chair, pulled the worn quilt around her and wept
quietly as the afternoon sun warmed her.
Sarah
slowly opened the closet door. She tiptoed down the hall and peeked in at
her mother sitting in the oversized chair. For as long as Sarah could
remember that chair had been a place of solace and comfort for all the women of
the Beiler family. Her mother had rocked Sarah and her sister Mary until
they were too big to fit on her lap and now all three enjoyed taking turns in
the chair in the afternoon when the sun shown most brightly through the large
picture window, warming whomever was seated there. It surprised Sarah to
see her Mamm crying and she didn't know what to do. She wanted to go and
comfort her but she did not want her Mamm to know she had been eavesdropping in
on her private conversation, especially when Sarah was the topic.
She turned around and slipped quietly outside.
The
short walk to the barn seemed eternal that afternoon and the large doors seemed
extra heavy. Once Sarah was sheltered in the cool darkness she sat down
to think. The same two questions kept going around and around inside of
her young mind. What is so terrible? What could be done about it? Sarah contemplated for hours until her
head hurt. Then she contemplated some more.
The
next day was Sunday and the weekly church service was to be held at the home of
the Gustafson's. Sarah awoke very early and dressed carefully in her best
Sunday dress. She pulled her new prayer kapp from her closet and placed
it gently on her head. She quietly opened her bedroom door, tiptoed past
her parent's bedroom and with a prayer under her breath that they were still
asleep, she slipped out the door. The sun rose quickly and Sarah knew she
had to hurry, so much needed to be done.
Hannah and Jacob arrived home that afternoon, slightly
disturbed but somewhat relieved. They had been spared another
conversation with Bishop Miller for now but they both knew it would be just a
matter of time before they would have to speak with him again. The Bishop
had not been at the service this morning and there were whispers that he had
been taken ill. What also bothered the couple was that their youngest
daughter had not arrived for the service either. It wasn't the first
occasion Sarah had gone out into the woods, lost track of time and shown up
hours later dirty and hungry but because of her daughter's delicate condition
Hannah worried more than usual. There was a chill in the air this
afternoon and even though it was only October, it felt like there could be an
early snow.
Sarah
walked slowly towards home, the wind whipping her long skirt about as she
struggled to keep her shawl around her shoulders. Her braided hair was coming
out in long unbridled strands and she shoved the wayward pieces roughly behind
her ears, cursing it with each step. She'd lost her prayer kapp again and her
Mamm would be real angry with her. The dry autumn leaves went swirling about
her feet as she walked and Sarah remarked to herself that there were far too
many leaves on the ground already. She walked slowly thinking of the Bishop’s
words of the previous day when he’d said she was too simple-minded to care for
a baby. Sarah had proven him wrong of course. He discovered that
she is clever, very clever indeed. Her stomach growled and she thought of
the freshly baked cookies that would be waiting for her, Sarah pulled her shawl
tightly about her and started to run.
Winter came early that year. By Thanksgiving there was almost
a foot of snow covering the Pennsylvania hills. Sarah began to show and
she positively gleamed with motherhood. Her mother and her sister began
to make quilts, clothing and kapps for the baby and Jacob worked on a cradle
for his newest grandchild. A new Bishop arrived at the end of October
without explanation and by Christmas everyone stopped wondering what had
happened to Bishop Miller. His belongings were packed away in case he
returned for them and a prayer said for his safety. Winter turned
into spring and Sarah's baby was born, a beautiful baby boy whom she named
Thomas after her grandfather. Everyone thought Thomas was perfect so no one
took any notice of the small faint birthmark under Thomas' left ear.
Time went by and no one worried where Sarah went when she
disappeared for hours at a time. Nor did anyone ever notice the large pile of
dead leaves placed carefully in the middle of woods next to the river.
If
someone were to notice or take the time to look there and brush some of the leaves away, they would see the faint, white remains of some bones, and entangled
within the bones, a small faded piece of fabric.
The type and
color of fabric that one might find in a girl's prayer kapp.
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