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I published this last night but for some reason it was not showing up on the site this morning...Sorry to everyone!!!
This is another snippet from the Alex Steele novella, The Sandman...
My conscious still bothers me at times, when I am trying to fall asleep and my memories of the girl make the night seem a little too dark. I tell myself that I was lying in a hospital bed, unconscious and drowning inside a drug induced wave while I was having these dreams and even if I had known at the time what they were (not that I am even really sure at this point) I could have done no more than I did. I still ultimately blame myself for what happened in the end, as it is with most people who are caught up in something beyond their control. Your world becomes filled with what-ifs, shouldas, and couldas, not wanting to believe that we truly are only human. At least this is what I tell myself on the nights when sleep evades me and the girl’s face seeps into the dark corners of my subconscious and I hear her whisper, “Please.”
Time passed and my dreams of the Sandman together with my random visits to the railroad bridge became what resembled a life for me. There may have been other thoughts during that period that I simply don’t remember and maybe that is for the best, only time will tell on that accord. I tend to think that anything else I thought about during that time wasn't all that important, the Sandman was enough.